Today, Jane and I tied the knot in public, making my girl's dreams of a big white wedding come true. I have to admit I had fun, despite the regularity of it all, and loved every minute of it.

It started in a local church, where Jules, (my best man), his Rex, and I greeted the guests. Cynthia surprisingly showed up with her "new friend" Michael, who did nothing but bark at Julian for having his dinosaur, which I had told him previously he could have at the ceremony. I ended up asking the man to leave.

Aunt Mimi was also there, and made no attempt to hide her gall at my scruffy cheeks. I'm growing a beard for Jane, and she said I didn't have to shave off my progress for the ceremony. Mimi tried her hardest not to cry at the ceremony, but I saw a few tears. I think she's happy her little John is finally happy.



I will forever remember the moment Jane stepped out onto that aisle to walk up to me, on her uncle's arm. She took my breath away, and my world stopped.






All my friends were there as groomsmen, looking sharp in their bow-tie suits. It seemed like it would have been awkward, marrying my best mate's ex-girlfriend... but he was too busy eyeing Jane's friend Serena... good thing she caught the bouquet and Paul (sort of) caught the garter.



Julian's T-Rex, aptly named Rex (which roared through the wedding) caught the garter. I think Jules was a little appalled at the frilly lacy thing suddenly on the head of his Jurassic friend (or Jurmazzic as he calls it). Paul took the oppurtunity to snatch it up and chat up Jane's friend Serena...

We exchanged our own vows:

Jane's:
I, Jane Asher, take you, John Lennon, to be my best friend, my lover, the father of our child and my husband. I will be with you in times of joy, sorrow... through any time of trouble we both may encounter. I will cry with you, laugh with you and cherish the love that has grown between us. I will love you unconditionally and let that love grow through the best and worst times of our lives. I give you my hand, my life, my heart and my soul, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

Mine:
Baby.... er, Jane Asher.... *I clear my throat again* I was in a very disappointing stage of my life. Alone. Frustrated. Doing all these things that did nothing to ease the pain, it only alieviated it for short moments. I remember the first time I laid eyes on you. You smiled, and I felt something I had never felt before. I was dumbstruck. Afraid, wondering what it was, how I could keep it with me forever. I didn't want to be without those happy bubbles. I pursued you, and I remember the first time you asked me to stay over. The first time you kissed me. The first time we made love. And each time after has only been better and better. It's ridiculous how in love I am with you and how it happens over and over and over. That feeling I felt at the first time I saw you smile... happens over and over everyday. And I want it to keep happening over and over each day.... I want to protect you. I want to wake up next to you everyday. I want to eat with you everyday, talk with you everyday, watch TV with you, go out to the movies with you, raise my son and our daughter with you..... and on and on, brush my teeth next to you, everything. You are the one who completes me. Finding you was what I was put on Earth to do. And I hope that you will stay with me always, by my side, leading me through the darkness. I love you. And I give you everything, as you have given me.... everything.

Our reception was in our backyard. It was beautiful, a huge outdoor tent, a beautiful cake (which I got smeared all over my face!) Jane licked and kissed it off, though, so that was fun.



The bouquet throwing, the garter retrieving (I may have been a little naughty on that front) and the dancing! It was so fun... a day to remember forever.

Now we have a weeklong honeymoon to look forward to on the warm beach and then we are moving into our new home! It's a few blocks from our current home, and super nice, perfect for us!

Our new home!

It's perfect! With Jane progressing through her pregnancy, its good that the master bedroom is on the ground floor and right next to a study that we are converting into a nursery. We also have a hot tub now!!! And there's a pool in the backyard that we're adding a tire swing, playground, and swings to for Jules and eventually Maddy (our future daughter). The upstairs bedroom is perfect for Julian and eventually Maddy. Jane is transferring Julian's current dinosaur bedroom to his new room in the new house, and he's so excited about that!

Alright, it's been a long day... I'm going to enjoy the dancing and the fun with my beautiful wife.

Peace!

John

I made these for her today!! XD Needed a place to show them!

I asked her to marry me.

And she said, "Of course I will, John."

I gave her a ring that was a size too big... but it's nice and she loved it anyway (she's amazing like that).

It was underneath a tree in the dog park. Me, Jane, and our puppy Winston.
Here's Winston on the day we got him (on Jane's bday): I didn't get to share him with you before, journal, because I was too busy with life... but here he is, late but still the sweetest thing ever! He protects Jane while I'm away, and keeps me smiling while she's away... she named him Winston after me middle name and since my middle name comes from Winson Churchill, I guess the little bugger is sorta named after Churchill!



I took her and Winston for a picnik in the dog park down the road from our house. We were talking, and she brought up marriage again. I didn't think I was ready. (Not that I wasn't READY, I know she's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, but that I wanted it to be so picture-perfect for her, because she deserves the most romantic and amazing proposal ever... and I'm not ever spot-on with the romance stuff...) But as she walked away, I knew I would never be able to breathe again without her by my side. So I got her back, and I asked her. I had been wanting it to be so perfect. And it was. Not storybook perfect, like the Prince Charming roll-out she deserves... but it was so perfectly us. I just asked her. And pulled the ring out of my pocket, slipped it on her finger... it was beautiful. She's beautiful and I love her.

We're getting married on December 24th which will mark five months since we said, "I love you" to each other for the very first time. Jane knows all the wedding details. I'm not a planner at all, especially not of something like a wedding... so you'll have to ask her all the details. All I know is it's on a beach, so it will be warm... and we're honeymooning directly after on the same beach. I can't wait for the honeymoon... *winks* That will be fun. She said something about public sex in Mexico?? *giggles* Oh, maybe that's supposed to be a secret... *giggles like mad*

But I'm fucking John fucking Lennon for Chrissakes! I don't keep anything private! I let everyone into every aspect of my life, that's who I am.

Anyway, just thought I would spread the happy news. Me and my darling girl will be tying the knot as the Americans say on Dec. 24th. You're probably not invited, so don't bother coming.

I'm just kidding, I don't know about the invitations and that. You'll have to ask Jane, as I said. I think the only thing I have a say in is the bachelor party WOOYAH and who my Best Man will be.

Right now it's a three-way tie between Richie (who's always been a great supporter of Jane and I and who has helped me through SO much, and I love him like the best friend he is... and Jane loves him, too) or Eppy, (because let's face it... Eppy is like... amazing to me. He just does things for me and is always there no matter what) or Winston (my precious little man who protects my Jane and who I love to no end) *shrugs* I'll just have to decide.

Man, that's a lot of Johnny-rambling for one day.

Give Peace a Chance,
John

And then those words were spoken...

I needed a soothing presence. A voice. Anything warm and loving, to calm my mind and soothe my nerves. I was losing my mind, and there was only one person who I could think of to talk to, to bring me back down to reality...  

I picked up the hotel phone and worked my way through all the operators until I finally reached my final destination of Kenwood. What time was it at home? Who cares? I needed her. Now. Just her voice. Calm, soothing, loving. Home. Steady.... I was falling apart. Cynthia knew how to bring the pieces back together. She always had and I prayed she always would. I had been a true cad to her lately... Guilt upon guilt upon guilt was just building up and suffocating me... I took a deep breath, twisting the phone cord around my finger anxiously.

Come on, Cyn, I silently begged. Please pick up. Save me.

From John to Jane:
I know she didn't mean to
But she took my heart away.
And I know I'll always love her
I fall for her more and more everyday.

Every word out of my mouth is for her
And every one is true
When she smiles my heart is lifted.
Her laughter makes my skies more blue.

And here's where it all began
Unassuming and absolutely true.
Darling, you're everything I'll ever need
Forever, I'll always love you.

( My life didn't begin until the day she called my name... )

"No thinking, just sleep," I mumbled, falling onto my own bed face-first.

I couldn't believe Brian had split everyone up like this! I guess it had been a test, to see if I would get angry. If I had shown anger, he would have known me and Paul were in fact something more than just friends. So, I had had to go with it, rooming with George instead of Paul. I could foresee much sneaking around back and forth underneath poor Brian's quite large nose. I wasn't going to last this whole tour without Paul at all.

I sighed, remembering that George had asked some playful question or other, but I couldn't remember what they were and hadn't been listening.

"So... why do you think Brian split us up? Me and Paul, I mean... It's obvious that's what he was doing, yeah?"

I sighed. George would come up with some sane, rational reason behind it all, making my fears and anxieties seem futile and ridiculous. He was quite good at that, and frankly I wasn't in the mood. I buried my face back into the bed and groaned, already annoyed at the type of answer I knew he was going to give.

I vaguely felt someone's arms around me. The door opened and shut. It was deathly quiet. There was a light wheezing sound which I groggily realized was my breath in my nose. The arms around me were warm, familiar.

Paul.

He was wiping my tears away. Tears I hated myself for shedding. Now they all knew. They all knew that I could crack. And George of all people had done it. The man I was willing kill with my bare hands earlier that day... had brought me to tears. Tears of... relief. They still loved me. I didn't know why. I didn't know how. I didn't understand it. But whether I was strong enough to accept it or not... it was there.

And Paul was here. Holding me. I leaned onto his shoulder, letting my face rest against it. And I let the rest of my tears flow. It felt good to get them out. I was slightly uncomfortable at having Paul beside me as I cried, but... there was a reassurance buried within me as well.

I felt so... awful. Just a blended concoction of befuddled confusions. How had I managed to stay oblivious to the pain I was causing others? Because I was a selfish bastard, that's why. And yet... they stayed by my side, faithfully seeing me through it all.

Had Paul said something about ice? I didn't know. I didn't respond, not sure what he had asked because my mind was so wrapped around itself I hadn't heard. I finally leaned back from him, swiping the leftover tears he'd missed with his thumb from my face with the back of my hand.

"I'm sorry, Macca," I tried again. But... again, no sound.